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content/posts/how-ai-has-changed-me.md

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layout: post
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title: "Log: How AI Has Changed Me"
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title: "How AI Has Changed Me"
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tags: [ai, general]
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date: "2025-09-05"
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LLMs have transformed the world in the last three years. Here are some notes on how they have changed my life so far:
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Large language models have transformed the world in the last three years. Here are some notes on how they have changed my life so far:
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### Feeling
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LLMs helped me eliminate anxiety that was rooted in serious inferiority complex. Knowing that I can now learn anything at any desired depth by talking to an LLM, I feel more secure and confident when I encounter a new subject knowing that there is an accessible and controllable way to learn it. I am much happier and much less fearful of the unknown. The web (with search engines) must have had a similar effect in the 1990s for a lot of that generation.
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AI helped me eliminate anxiety that was rooted in serious inferiority complex. Knowing that I can now learn anything at any desired depth by talking to a model, I feel more secure and confident when I encounter a new subject knowing that there is an accessible and controllable way to learn it. I am much happier and much less fearful of the unknown. The web (with search engines) must have had a similar effect in the 1990s for a lot of that generation.
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That was fortunately the only extent of my issues, and I don't have much more to say here. I have not used AI as a therapist, but I support people who use it occasionally and think of it as a healthy coping mechanism, if not a solution.
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I use AI to produce code for languages I have never learned, and still cannot recall enough to be able to write "Hello World". This is the consequence of relying on primal signals: instincts, contextual cues and low-level pattern matching rather than grounding in any real knowledge. Working reactively instead of actively.
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It's funny that I am now the same pattern-matching machine that early-generation LLMs were, while new-generation LLMs have far better understanding and reliability than me.
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It's funny that I am now the same pattern-matching machine that early-generation models were, while new-generation models have far better understanding and reliability than me.
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It's easy to misinterpret this as the flow state because you get work done without applying a lot of conscious effort. But it is actually the polar opposite - flow involves accessing the highest form of thinking, whereas this is the lowest.
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It's easy to confuse this for the [flow state](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flow_(psychology)) because you get things done with a sense of effortlessness. But it is actually the polar opposite - flow involves accessing the highest modes of reasoning, not the lowest. It feels effortless because it is.
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A lot of coding feels like completing a chore with no real sense of accomplishment. There are fewer stories and experiences you can share with colleagues about the technologies you closely work with, because a lot of them stem from the journey and the mistakes *you* made. That personal experience is lost.
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I have noticed that I care a lot more about the real world and humans now, even online. I gravitate towards places with human-generated content, and instantly filter out anything that looks like ChatGPT-ese regardless of its quality. I agree with Sam Altman that we will increasingly cherish human connection as we keep improving and collaborating with these machines.
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[^1]: As an engineer, I don't yield unchecked control of the codebase to an LLM. I still like to make incremental, single-scope changes and review the code at each step.
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[^1]: As an engineer, I don't yield unchecked control of the codebase to a model. I still like to make incremental, single-scope changes and review the code at each step.

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